Do you know that slightly trepidatious feeling you may sometimes get when you’re about to see someone you haven’t seen for a long time? Would you recognise each other? Would it be awkward?
I feel like that after returning from a six-month blogging absence. While I have presented as absent online, I haven’t been absent in my head. I’ve composed blog posts on the fly, a lot. Not just posts, but completely different blogs. But I haven’t transferred thoughts to pixels.
Life is running through my fingers like, like sands through the hourglass (former Days of Our Lives fan and some things never leave you). I haven’t made the time to write, but I think about it nearly everyday. But I put it off because so many other things need to be done.
But I’m sick of putting it off. I love it. I want the ideas and words in my head to come out onto a page (or screen). Because I love the process and I love the result. When I put words together to paint a picture, I’m in flow and things make sense.
If I’m feeling doubt or confusion, writing helps bring order to my thoughts. Maybe getting the words out of my head and into some semblance of order, helps me see the big picture, helps to remove some of the intensity of feeling. Helps me be more objective. It can be like taking a little mental holiday.
I note that it is almost a year to the day that I published a post titled, Happy New Year, now it’s Mothers’ Day! A post written after not publishing since December the year before. I can’t believe the same thing has happened this year, except this year, I haven’t published a post since November 2017 – 6 months! May it never be this long between posts again.
Looking back, I see my reasons for not posting are pretty much the same as last year. And some things didn’t go the distance, like my so-called “...renewed focus about what I want this blog to be.” I think those ideas have changed and I’m still working it out, but I don’t want to stop posting in the meantime.
It will be what it will be.
The trepidation is lifting and it’s great to see you again, Blog!